Parent-Teacher Conferencing
Compiled by Dr. Bonnstetter
UN-L
Secondary Science Education
The following material has been collected from a number of sources. When ever possible, I have referenced these sources. In addition, elementary grade level material has been modified to address secondary level teaching.
A second year teacher, reviewing this set of material, strongly suggested that each of you copy and place this in your portfolio for future use. "None of this will really be very important until the week of that first conference. But you better be able to find this stuff and re-read it before you blow an entire year" Sounds like words of wisdom.
General comments:
Begin your conference with an encouraging note about the student- "John does very well in a lab setting."
Place yourself in the position of the parent, who wants an honest report from you, but may dread hearing that his or her child is not doing well in aspects of your program. If there is a problem, phrase your remarks tactfully, - "I need some help in understanding why it is so difficult for John to concentrate. Can you suggest something that might be bothering him?"
Listen closely and sympathetically. You may learn things that can help you deal with the student. Often the parents feel that you are the only person they can confide in. Accept what they have to say without strong visible reaction. If the parents argue that the school is at fault because Susie isn’t learning, by all means, don’t snap back. Keep on listening. Then say quietly, "you feel the school is to blame; well, how can we work together to clear up the situation?"
Your attitude is most important. Be sure every parent feels his or her child is in good hands. Display pride in your teaching responsibilities.
Make sure that all parents feel that they are important partners in the child’s development in school.
During the conference, express the attitude that this is "our" problem, not simply the parents.
Why have conferences?
1. Report cards fall short in informing parents about experiences their child is having.
2. You learn about parent’s feelings and reactions.
3. It is an opportunity to do cooperative planning.
The parent-teacher conference is a two-way exchange of information about a child. The conference may be the only means of a parent receiving information about his/her child. The conference may be in addition to a report care being sent home. About 50 percent of all teachers have scheduled conferences.
With one or two successful teacher-parent conferences behind them, parents are happy to return for additional conferences. They like being involved with their child’s school. Students like the idea to, for he sees that his teacher and his parents are a team for him/her and are not working at cross-purposes against him.
The teacher finds that the time spent conferencing is a time saver. It eliminates many problems in the classroom.
In fact, the entire school system benefits from effective teacher-parent conferences. The public relations value alone pays rich dividends.
Both teachers and parents may feel shy about conferences. Both have much in common.
A. Both of you want students to succeed.
B. Both of you want student to progress at the rate that is best for them.
C. Both of you want student to feel that the home standards and school standards complement each other.
D. Both of you believe that learning occurs at home and at school.
E. Both of you believe that the curriculum is the beginning that leads to more that is valuable for children to learn.
Conferences take planning, patience, and practice. They require great amounts of energy and, if they are handled poorly, they can destroy the understanding between parents and school.
CONFERENCE DEVELOPMENT
There are certain cautionary measures to which we should pay particular attention as the conference develops. The following section addresses some of those touchy areas and offers some suggestions for the successful conduct of the interview.
a. Use lay language as much as possible. Carefully explain any professional terms for which you can not find a common synonym.
b. Don’t make it easy to be misquoted. Parents may not accurately understand what you have said.
c. Avoid comparison. Don’t compare students or brothers and sisters. And don’t compare this student’s achievement with an older sibling you had several years ago.
d. Exercise self-control and patience. control your voice and its tension level.
e. Watch your language. Every word you say is important. Here are some examples of conference language "do’s and don’ts".
SAY THIS. . .
"I have analyzed Sam’s behavior very carefully. I looked first to see if it could be due to a shortcoming on my part. I have also referred to my books on adolescent psychology and development. After reviewing all resources, my conclusion is that his behavior is due to . .. . ."
NOT THIS . .
"I don’t know why your son acts this way in my class. Maybe it is a stage he is going through, or maybe it is the weather or something like that."
SAY THIS . . .
"Your daughter and I have compiled this folder together. We have discussed what we have put in it so that we and you could see samples of her best, her usual, and some of her below average work."
NOT THIS . . .
"Here are some samples of her work in this folder."
SAY THIS . . .
"How do you suggest we should go about this? Do you have any suggestions?"
NOT THIS . .
"Don’t you think it is your responsibility to get him to complete his assignments?"
SAY THIS. . .
"If that doesn’t work out, what else should we try?"
NOT THIS . . .
"If John doesn’t complete the course, you’ll have to settle for failure. I don’t know what else to tell you."
WHAT TO DO WHEN THE PARENT IS:
Timid, shy: Make them feel at ease with a quiet voice and some reassuring remarks.
Impatient: Give your explanation with a calm voice in a courteous and pleasant manner.
Undecided: Help the parent make a decision. Survey possibilities and narrow the options. Ask which one would be most desirable.
Talkative: Be permissive, listening for important words and ideas. Guide the parent with brief, pertinent remarks or questions.
Irate: Above everything else -- stay calm! Listen patiently and calmly until the fire dies. Catharsis, after all is good for the soul. Once the parent is calmed down, ask, for constructive suggestions.
Worried: The worried parent is worried about much more than just his or her child. He or she probably believes that regardless of what you said in your invitation, the student must be in some kind of trouble. Symptoms? Drumming figures, twisting handkerchief, rubbing eyes, etc. If worry is evident, recognize and respect it. Emphasize that all problems can be solved to some degree.
Egotist: This individual will probably come in self confident and smiling, accustomed to meeting people on his own ground. Don’t deflate the balloon unless you want to risk creating an enemy. Simply acknowledge this parent’s abilities and if they are fundamentally sound, use them to the advantage of student.
Critic: This is the individual who comes in armed with "expert" opinions on how to teach a particular subject-area. Stick to the areas in which you are well informed. Otherwise, let the parent do most of the talking until you have learned his or her questions and problems.
What do Parents want to ask during conferencing?
1. What will the student study?
2. What do you mean by "Biology" or XXXology?
3. When do you start teaching the various curriculum areas?
4. How will the student be expected to do?
5. How do you group?
6. What testing methods are used?
7. Will their child have homework? What is the purpose of this homework?
8. How do you discipline your students?
9. What is your grading system?
10. What are your rules and procedures?
11. What can I as a parent do at home to help my child?
12. Is my child working up to his/her ability?
13. What books or other resources are used in your course?
14. May I see some of his/her work?
15. How does he/she get along with or work with other students?
WHAT DO TEACHERS HOPE TO LEARN DURING THE CONFERENCE?
1. How does the student feel about this course?
2. Does the student have special interests, abilities, or hobbies?
3. What does the student do when not in school?
4. What discipline works best at home?
5. Are there home responsibilities?
6. Where does the student read or study at home?
SOME TERMS THAT TEACHERS USE THAT MAY NEED TO BE EXPLAINED TO PARENTS
(Remember, it may be better to simply not use some of these words, depending on your goals and time allotment.)
1. Team Teaching
2. National Assessment
3. Rubric
4. Authentic Assessment
5. Portfolio
6. Process Science
7. Inquiry Learning
8. Hands-on, Minds-on Science
9. Constructivism
INSTEAD OF THIS USE THIS:
lazy Can do more if he/she tries
Show-off Tries to get attention
Troublemaker Disturbs class
Rude Inconsiderate of others
Stubborn Insists on having his own way
Liar Doesn’t always tell the truth
Sloppy Could do neater work
Selfish Seldom shares with others
The following Do’s and Don’ts of Parent-Teacher Interviewing is based on Teacher-Parent Interviews, by Grace Langdon and Irving W. Stout, Prentice-Hall.
1. Be truthful and honest.
2. Respect parent’s confidence.
3. don’t be shocked at whatever is said.
4. Don’t jump to conclusions.
5. Take what parents say seriously.
6. Don’t be authoritative.
7. Avoid getting into arguments.
8. Avoid teacherish language
9. Be sympathetically understanding but not sentimental.
10. Be ready to speak honest admiration for what the parents do.
11. Show genuine interest in what the parents have to say.
12. Be ready to explain what is done at school and why it is done.
13. Let the parent see that the teacher is willing to make adjustments too.
14. Be watchful not to blame of condemn.
15. Don’t belittle what the parents do.
16. don’t be superior about the student’s better adjustment at school than at home.
17. Don’t make parents feel stupid.
18. In giving suggestions offer more than one possibility.
19. Give suggestions so that parents will be comfortable about taking or leaving them.
20. Respect the parents’ reserve.
21. Don’t ask personal questions.
22. Don’t chide the parents.
23. Don’t labor a point.
24. Listen
25. Accept.
Types of Suggestions a Teacher can Provide
1. Providing reference material at home is a great help in schoolwork.
2. Parents’ approval of work well done and pride in accomplishment means a great deal to the teenager, even though be brushes it off.
3. For the sake of the student’s self-respect, it is a good idea to reduce criticism as much as possible.
4. It is best not to push teenagers into feeling they must do thus or so when they are through high school.
5. Parents who are concerned about late hours may find it helpful to get together and agree on the same regulations.
6. Giving the teenager opportunity for being in with the crowd is closely related to school success.
7. The teenager longs for the feeling of being grown-up, and it helps to treat him so.
8. Parent’s recognition and appreciation of good school success, without putting on heavy pressure, is helpful in keeping it up.
9. The independence of youth is something to rejoice in and to nurture.
10. One may as well accept dating as part of teenage interests.
Ending the conference
A logical method of concluding a conference is to summarize the discussion. Here are some additional points to remember.
1. Be sure when summarizing your remarks that you make it clear to the parents that they have helped you.
2. Encourage the parent to share conference content with his or her spouse if both were not present. (Be careful with this if you do not know marriage status.)
3. Don’t let the conference dribble off into inconsequential and trivia. To signal the end of the conference, you might say, "I see that Mrs. Jones is waiting for her conference." Don’t say, "Well, time is up!, Next."
4. Don’t give the parents the impression that "they’ve had it" when the conference is over. Clearly state that you welcome the opportunity to confer with them at any time.
5. Close the conference with a note op optimism. "I’m so glad, Mrs. Jones, that you have suggested helping Carolyn with her homework habits. I am sure this will be reflected in the quality of her assignments."
Following - Through
Procedures used in following-through will, of course, depend upon the individual situation, information gained, or problems resolved in the conference. The following suggestions may be used as guidelines in considering this phase of the conference:
1. Reassess the student’s achievement and attitudes on the basis of your newly learned facts.
2. Carefully consider modification or follow-up of newly suggested plans of action which you have garnered from the conference.
3. Plan to work directly with the student in carrying out those plans, otherwise, follow-up is useless.
4. If your school employs contributing teachers who do not conduct parent-teacher conferences, (physical education music, etc.), inform them of pertinent information which may be helpful in their work with the student.
5. Take time to evaluate personally, conference results which are in line with your own instructional goals and principles.
6. If a student’s problem persists after the conference, maintain communication with the parents. You might send a note with the next report card, inform the school counselor, make a phone call, or ask for another conference.
Conference Evaluation
Parent-teacher conference techniques and procedures require continuous evaluation and improvement. Effective skills used in conferences of this nature are learned by doing, experimentation, revising, shifting emphases, and trying again.
Not every conference will be successful. Each personality is different. You may "click" with one parent, and not with another. Good practice requires that you continually evaluate conferences, determining which have been successful and which have not.
Feel free to use the help of your fellow teachers and principals. Through this continuous process of self-improvement, we all move toward the goal of finding the better way.